The honeymoon is over

Yeah, it was fun while it lasted. I knew it wouldn't take long for the mother-in-law to revert to her old self. We get to the house and manage to park right across the street. I look and she is right there! Oh my god! She is hovering, ready to jump on us. I'll steal a quote from a mom on the InLaws board: "She needs to start by not drooling over the baby and pretty much standing on me to get the baby out my hands the second she gets in the door." Of course, in our case, it's when we go over to her house. She is not going to be stepping in our house, if I can help it. She cannot respect me in my house, she is not welcome. Anyway, she doesn't even let us in the door. When she even spots us through her window, she swoops out like a vulture. Good description, huh?

I was seeing red though when she brought up when T broke his leg. She goes on to describe and show D's aunt how T broke his leg. Seriously, wtf? She was not there. The only person who possibly might have seen T fall and break his leg was my brother. She was nowhere f-ing near my son and she's going show someone how he broke his leg. I was too pissed off to correct her. I really should have. I keep going over it in my head. I should have said, "No, that's not right. Noone saw T fall. Noone knows how T broke his leg." But I was too pissed off to say anything because she brought up the bad memories I will forever associate with that day. She's damn lucky I still associate with her.

Then my further mistake during dinner was when Z was crying. I was going to walk with him. The mother-in-law said she would take him because I was still eating. I said no because it was only going to make him cry more. Which did happen. But I still let her take him out of my arms. Why did I do that? I had to clench my fists. I really didn't want D to say that I don't let his mother hold the baby. I didn't want to hear later on that she whined to D about me always not letting her take the baby. I will not let that happen again. Another quote that is apropos: "I hate the whole let-me-take-care-of-DS-so-you-can-have-your-hands-free-but-it's-really-all-about-me-having-alone-time-with-DS routine." It's like these ladies can read my mind. Gotta love 'em.

Obviously, there was other stuff. There is always other stuff. Nothing big, but annoying nonetheless. The woman cannot help herself. She is the self-proclaimed mother of the year. Somehow, she can do all, soothe all. Yeah, my son gets hurt and she's the one that he will want. Yeah, right. She does not have a clue. The kids were playing rough and L fell. Of course, I soothe him. He's crying in my arms and merely wants comfort. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the mother-in-law, a few feet away with coffee table between us, with her arms out like L was going to go to her for comfort. Are you serious?!?? She does it again with, I forget, L or T when they cry. Get a clue, lady! My children will NOT be going to you for comfort, not if I am already comforting them! If I wasn't, it would be a different story. If she was closest and they willingly went to her for comfort, okay. I wouldn't like it, but I will deal. My child's comfort comes first. But do you really think that my children will leave my arms, their mother's arms, to go to you!?? Obviously, she does. It's just stupid. But that's the nature of beast, isn't it? Each time, I wonder what stupid thing she will do next.

Pigs are flying

I swear somewhere out there pigs are flying. Really. The other day, we had dinner with the in-law. It was the mother-in-law's birthday. Since it was the big 6-0, we are "required" to do something special for her birthday. When D brings it up to her, she says 'no, no, no, it's not necessary.' Of course, a few days later, D tells me that we're having 2 tables. This is what D was planning to begin with, but whatever happened to 'oh, it's not necessary to do anything?' Anyway, it's not for me to say anything. And I told myself that I would bite my tongue and be nice. But then the day before the dinner, D tells me that his mother said she was making a dish for L. My jaw dropped. Excuse me? She's making a special dish for L? In the 3 years that we've known about L's allergies, she has never made a dish especially for L. She's never made anything specifically for my children. She's cooked because she's cooking for everyone. She might say, oh, T likes this dish or L likes this soup but it wouldn't be because she went out of her way to make it especially for them. So ergo, pigs must be flying somewhere. D even acknowledges this. Not the pigs, but the oddity of the action. Well, I thought perhaps she might have been just saying it and that when the time comes, she would have some sort of excuse and not have done anything. But then the day of, D confirms with his mother that she made something. So I thought wow. But nonetheless, I still brought food for L. Good thing. When at the restaurant, and it came time for L to eat, I brought out the container of food that mother-in-law made. L got very excited and said he wanted to eat it. He still seemed excited when I opened the container. By the time, I got a fork to scoop some of the green beans onto his plate, L changed his mind and didn't want it anymore. A span of seconds passed, so I have no idea what happened. I detected a weird odor to the dish, but I swear I did not convey it to L. I did not want to influence his thoughts. So good thing I brought the beef with peas and carrots because L devoured that. He did not touch the green beans that I put on his plate. I have to admit that made me smile internally.

But honestly, that night was actually pretty pleasant. The in-laws were very pleasant to me. Mother-in-law was courteous and didn't make her usual snide passive aggressive comments. Father-in-law kept on serving me. When they left, mother-in-law made a point to tell me that they were leaving. I think someone must have said something to them. Otherwise I cannot understand where this change of behavior has come from. Has someone shown them the light? what makes me believe this even more is that D tells me that his mother asked if we could take a family photo and others, so that she can enlarge them and hang them up. Someone must have noticed the fact that she does not have any pictures of us as a family. Nor does she have any pictures of her grandkids. I refuse to give her any pictures because lord knows what she does with them. There is no grandmotherly pride in her. There is one baby picture of T. And that's it. T is almost 6 years old. After giving her pictures and seeing that she does nothing with them but talk, I don't want to bother anymore. D just feels obligated to give her pictures. I secretly enjoy it when he forgets to give them to her. We'll see what happens on Sunday. Let's see if the pictures get taken. I hope they don't. Oh, let's see who's going to take the picture. And with whose camera? Will I be responsible for them? For developing the pictures and enlarging them? Um, I don't think so. Call me a snotty daughter-in-law, but I just don't think a zebra can change its stripes.

101 Ways to Praise a Child

This is just what I needed. A great followup to my post the other day. A perfect reminder of what I should be saying to my boys. I'm going to print this out and tape it around the house.

101 Ways to Praise a Child!

WOW • WAY TO GO • SUPER • YOU'RE SPECIAL • OUTSTANDING • EXCELLENT •
GREAT• GOOD • NEAT • WELL DONE • REMARKABLE • I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT • I'M PROUD OF YOU • FANTASTIC • SUPER STAR • NICE WORK • LOOKING GOOD • YOU'RE ON TOP OF IT • BEAUTIFUL • NOW YOU'RE FLYING • YOU'RE CATCHING ON • NOW YOU'VE GOT IT • YOU'RE INCREDIBLE • BRAVO • YOU'RE FANTASTIC • HURRAY FOR YOU • YOU'RE ON TARGET • YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY • HOW NICE • HOW SMART • GOOD JOB • THAT'S INCREDIBLE • HOT DOG • DYNAMITE • YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL • YOU'RE UNIQUE • NOTHING CAN STOP YOU NOW • GOOD FOR YOU • I LIKE YOU YOU'RE A WINNER • REMARKABLE JOB • BEAUTIFUL WORK • SPECTACULAR • YOU'RE SPECTACULAR • YOU'RE DARLING • YOU'RE PRECIOUS • GREAT DISCOVERY • YOU'VE DISCOVERED THE SECRET • YOU FIGURED IT OUT • FANTASTIC JOB • HIP, HIP, HURRAY • BINGO • MAGNIFICENT • MARVELOUS • TERRIFIC • YOU'RE IMPORTANT • PHENOMENAL • YOU'RE SENSATIONAL • SUPER WORK • CREATIVE JOB • SUPER JOB • FANTASTIC JOB • EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE • YOU'RE A REAL TROOPER • YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE • YOU ARE EXCITING • YOU LEARNED IT RIGHT • WHAT AN IMAGINATION •WHAT A GOOD LISTENER • YOU ARE FUN • YOU'RE GROWING UP • YOU TRIED HARD • YOU CARE • BEAUTIFUL SHARING • OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE • YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND • I TRUST YOU • YOU'RE IMPORTANT • YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME • YOU MAKE ME HAPPY • YOU BELONG • YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND • YOU MAKE ME LAUGH • YOU BRIGHTEN MY DAY • I RESPECT YOU • YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME • THAT'S CORRECT • YOU'RE A JOY • YOU'RE A TREASURE • YOU'RE WONDERFUL • YOU'RE PERFECT • AWESOME • A+ JOB • YOU'RE A-OK MY BUDDY • YOU MADE MY DAY • THAT'S THE BEST • A BIG HUG • A BIG KISS • SAY I LOVE YOU!