So I lasted a week. But not without much frustrations. But I was able to control myself and keep from yelling. I was hoping since I made it a week with no yelling that I could last much longer. No such luck. These past two days have been pretty bad. Between L & J, frustrations are at a high point, so unfortunately I resorted to yelling.
Yesterday it took Z over an hour to eat a waffle! Yes, one waffle. And that's after constant harassment by myself and his brothers and even a timeout. Now I normally do not force them to eat except Z is constantly stealing snacks from the diaper bag when I've given him 'real' food. All I wanted to do was leave to house to get some much needed necessities, like diapers!
And L has been a major source of frustration! He talks nonstop on a regular basis. We cannot get him to stop even when he is repeatedly told to stop talking. So when I ask him something and expect him to answer, it is beyond frustrating when he doesn't say anything!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Soooo....
Today is Day 3 of Project No Yell. Has there been trying moments? Yes! Have I raised my voice? Yes, I have. But I can explain. Yesterday, Z was sitting on a dining room chair with a crayon in one visible hand. I saw him vigorously moving his other hand on the seat. Naturally I assumed his other hand also held a crayon and that was drawing on our dining room chair. So I jumped out of my seat and shouted "Z!" And nothing else. I made my way around to the other side of the dining room table and find him with his new discovery. Z has found out that if he rubs with his fingers,the seat which is made of microfiber, will leave lines. I almost had a heart attack when I taught he was coloring the chair. I had other moments of frustration with L and T yesterday but I didn't yell. I sent them to time outs and spoke sternly but I never yelled. And this was even on a day that D was coming home late, so I had the kids all on my own all day with no reprieve. Quite an accomplishment, in my book.
Today has been going as well as can be, too. Again I did raise my voice once. This time was for a warning of danger. Our refrigerator had conked out and we had a repairman come. Z in all his curiosity wanted to see the man who was going in and out of the house with his tools. When the man had stepped outside, Z wanted to watch from the sofa. Unfortunately he wanted to teeter his body over the back of the sofa. This would not be a good thing because if he lost his balance and the top half of his body were to flip over, he could very well flip over the rail and down the stairs. So again, I shouted "Z!" to get his attention. The rest of the frustrations had to do with L who chooses not to listen when I am explaining his lessons. I was very annoyed but I got through it with a stern talking to again. But making sure that I did not lose my temper and start my usual yelling, which is something I can easily do. I think it does help that we are taking it easy this week workwise. It may be more difficult next week when we get back to our regular school schedule. But one day at a time. One day at a time...
Today has been going as well as can be, too. Again I did raise my voice once. This time was for a warning of danger. Our refrigerator had conked out and we had a repairman come. Z in all his curiosity wanted to see the man who was going in and out of the house with his tools. When the man had stepped outside, Z wanted to watch from the sofa. Unfortunately he wanted to teeter his body over the back of the sofa. This would not be a good thing because if he lost his balance and the top half of his body were to flip over, he could very well flip over the rail and down the stairs. So again, I shouted "Z!" to get his attention. The rest of the frustrations had to do with L who chooses not to listen when I am explaining his lessons. I was very annoyed but I got through it with a stern talking to again. But making sure that I did not lose my temper and start my usual yelling, which is something I can easily do. I think it does help that we are taking it easy this week workwise. It may be more difficult next week when we get back to our regular school schedule. But one day at a time. One day at a time...
Monday, November 1, 2010
Project No Yell
Could You Go a Week Without Yelling at Your Kids?
It is so sad to say that when this question was first posed on a site I frequent, my immediate thought was 'heck no!' Believe me, I try. I try and try and try. Many a night, I go to bed thinking I am such a horrible mom and how abusive I am to my kids. I vow to not yell and not get so upset and frustrated with my kids the next day. Needless to say, I break my own vows each day. Sometimes even before I see them when they are yelling and being loud in the morning and therefore waking up their little brother. So I start off the day yelling. It's horrible.
I read the article, Could You Go a Week Without Yelling at Your Kids?, and was quite amused. I totally knew how the mom felt and what she went through on a daily basis.
But just because I understand and do the same, it doesn't make it right. I don't want my children's childhood memories to be of me yelling all the time. My husband has said on more than one occasion that he doesn't like me to yell (although he does more than his fair share!) because it reminds me of his own childhood. I do not want that for my children.
So here, yet again, I will try. I am not going to set out a goal for a week because that just seems so impossible. Although ultimately, the goal is for a lifetime. One day at a time is how I am going to approach it. I am fortunate that my children still tell me they love me and give me hugs and kisses at the end of the day that I do not demand or ask for. So I cannot be that horrible, but it is bad enough that I know better.
Today is a new day and day one. So far so good. I think it did help that the boys did wake up and play quietly instead of their usual loud ruckus in the morning. I have not raised my voice at all. Okay, I did have to raise my voice when I told them that they needed to clean up and that lunch was almost ready. In my defense, they were downstairs in the playroom while I was upstairs in the kitchen. The only way of getting out of raising my voice was to physically go downstairs and tell them the same thing. Not happening with my pregnant self and besides, I was in the middle of making lunch.
There was a bit of fighting in the morning between L and Z. I did not get involved until it sounded like it went on a little bit too long and I heard that L stepped on Z. I went to the living room to see what was going on and reprimanded L in a calm voice - yay me! Only when he was poking Z with his light saber did I just step over to take away the toy to put into a time out. L started with his crying but I did not get upset or annoyed and repeated what he had done wrong.
There was a repeat between L and Z a little bit later because Z decided to take discipline into his own hands and hit L with a water bottle. I kept out of it again until it sounded like the situation was not going to be resolved. I again stepped in and took the water bottles away from Z. And that was the extent of it. A little bit of crying on Z's part but no yelling from me.
So it's now mid-afternoon and it's looking good. One day at a time. One day at a time.
It is so sad to say that when this question was first posed on a site I frequent, my immediate thought was 'heck no!' Believe me, I try. I try and try and try. Many a night, I go to bed thinking I am such a horrible mom and how abusive I am to my kids. I vow to not yell and not get so upset and frustrated with my kids the next day. Needless to say, I break my own vows each day. Sometimes even before I see them when they are yelling and being loud in the morning and therefore waking up their little brother. So I start off the day yelling. It's horrible.
I read the article, Could You Go a Week Without Yelling at Your Kids?, and was quite amused. I totally knew how the mom felt and what she went through on a daily basis.
But just because I understand and do the same, it doesn't make it right. I don't want my children's childhood memories to be of me yelling all the time. My husband has said on more than one occasion that he doesn't like me to yell (although he does more than his fair share!) because it reminds me of his own childhood. I do not want that for my children.
So here, yet again, I will try. I am not going to set out a goal for a week because that just seems so impossible. Although ultimately, the goal is for a lifetime. One day at a time is how I am going to approach it. I am fortunate that my children still tell me they love me and give me hugs and kisses at the end of the day that I do not demand or ask for. So I cannot be that horrible, but it is bad enough that I know better.
Today is a new day and day one. So far so good. I think it did help that the boys did wake up and play quietly instead of their usual loud ruckus in the morning. I have not raised my voice at all. Okay, I did have to raise my voice when I told them that they needed to clean up and that lunch was almost ready. In my defense, they were downstairs in the playroom while I was upstairs in the kitchen. The only way of getting out of raising my voice was to physically go downstairs and tell them the same thing. Not happening with my pregnant self and besides, I was in the middle of making lunch.
There was a bit of fighting in the morning between L and Z. I did not get involved until it sounded like it went on a little bit too long and I heard that L stepped on Z. I went to the living room to see what was going on and reprimanded L in a calm voice - yay me! Only when he was poking Z with his light saber did I just step over to take away the toy to put into a time out. L started with his crying but I did not get upset or annoyed and repeated what he had done wrong.
There was a repeat between L and Z a little bit later because Z decided to take discipline into his own hands and hit L with a water bottle. I kept out of it again until it sounded like the situation was not going to be resolved. I again stepped in and took the water bottles away from Z. And that was the extent of it. A little bit of crying on Z's part but no yelling from me.
So it's now mid-afternoon and it's looking good. One day at a time. One day at a time.
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