Dear T,
You made me a mommy. I never really thought about it til it mentioned by another mom. But it is because of you that I have the most important job in the world. It was such a revelation. Oh, yes, I continued to have other children, namely your brothers. But it was you, you who made me who I am. I love you so very much. I know it doesn't seem like it nowadays. Mommy is having many, many bad days. I am so sorry for it. I should know better. I am the mommy. I am certainly not teaching well by example. I promise I will try harder. But that means you need to as well. I know that you are and can be such a smart, sweet and loving boy. You are so smart. I am having such a great time homeschooling you. Yes, I have many moments where I am frustrated with you. For some reason you have trouble keeping on task. While I do not doubt the abilities of the public school, I treasure the moments I have with you. I cannot imagine sending you off to school for so many hours of the day. I try not to stifle you and allow you to bloom. I know I am hard on you often, but I guess I expect better of you. You have such an amazing memory. You've had one since you were tiny. Daddy and I were always so amazed by how you always knew where you left something, like your sippy cup. You didn't even have to think about it and you knew. Sure, you shouldn't have left it in the first place, but that doesn't stop me from being amazed about it. And you're always popping out with memories of things that happen so long ago, that I wouldn't think you would remember. Like when things that happened when you were 3. Thank goodness you don't have my memory, my dear child! I think that is what is helping you with Chinese school. I sure am not able to write all the words that you are able to. You are also so sweet and loving to your baby brother. Maybe not so to L but you can be at times. When you are not fighting with him over something. Okay, not physically fighting that I know can sometimes occur between siblings, but the squabbling. I still remember how protective you were of L when he was born. I knew you would be a great brother. Still are despite what I say at times. I just really want you to get along and hopefully provide you with tools to know what to do when you don't. I just wish you wouldn't make L scream and cry. It really is not necessary. You do not have to get on top of him. You do not have to snatch toys away from you. And you certainly do not have to order him around in that nasty tone of yours. Speaking of nasty tones, why does that disrespectful tone have to creep into your voice? Don't you realize that if you do as you are supposed to, you wouldn't put in a time out, you wouldn't get into trouble? I know, I should know better. I am the mommy. You are 5. I will try to remember all the good things about you and concentrate on that. And you will concentrate on following the very simple things that you are told to do - like not drawing on the furniture or climbing on your brothers!
Love, Mommy
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